What I Love About The World

Saturday, January 21, 2006

1. Taking A Slash Outside


There is nothing quite like the feeling of passing water en plein air as it were. Whipping it out on a fresh winter's morning and proceeding to empty a bladder which is perpetually full due to the cultivation of a 40-Cups-a-day Tea habit feels fucking great ('seriously though' it's not 40 that would be unhealthy). Also the nicest bit about the whole experience is that I really feel like I'm putting something back into nature, a sort of unholy bond with ecosystems across the world.

My Top 4 Places To Do "This" (no particular order)
  • Uni Garden (Nottingham) - at least 8 different types of tree, squirrels and 5 bird species
  • Garden Home (Maldon) - do it at 3.30 pm and all the mum's picking up their kids from the school next door can hear you
  • Outisde Special Reserve (Chelmsford) - i remember doing this once when drunk, it lacked the foliage of the former, but i could see my old school so it felt like i was "sticking it to the system" (or it did at the time) and this is a positive blog experiment so i retract all such angst and ill-feeling
  • Against a tree in France on a warm summer's evening - you're missing out

8 Comments:

At 8:38 AM, Blogger bob said...

Would you reject any of the following places:?

a) in the sink
b) in the shower
c) in a large mug

They are wholly unnatural in comparison to your above suggestions, excluding perhaps Special Reserve Chelmsford, my beautiful ex-workplace, now closed.

Bob

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger Experience Sponge said...

Hello Bobla,
regards a) ask nick
regards b) that's a bit dirty
regards c) fine, ive done that, then drunk it as a bet (sic)

The sea is another good one

 
At 9:00 AM, Blogger bob said...

Yes the sea is wonderful.

What did your piss taste like? And did you vomit afterwards? Bernie and I once watched some really good american amateur pissing porn. A couple had sex, then the guy pissed (loads!) in a bucket and she drank it. She kept shuddering and gagging and saying how salty it was. I cannot recall whether she threw up or not but the main point was that she was very pretty.

 
At 6:19 AM, Blogger Experience Sponge said...

Well it tasted like tepid salty water, i didn't vomit afterwards, it's really not that bad, and i had a bit of a beer jacket on at the time. Matt was there, he can corroborate..

ahh bernie! that sounds like a really romantic experience!

try it yourself (i mean what i did not the latter) it's meant to have holistic qualities. I'm sure you could research it on a certain free online encyclopaedia..

 
At 6:19 AM, Blogger Experience Sponge said...

Well it tasted like tepid salty water, i didn't vomit afterwards, it's really not that bad, and i had a bit of a beer jacket on at the time. Matt was there, he can corroborate..

ahh bernie! that sounds like a really romantic experience!

try it yourself (i mean what i did not the latter) it's meant to have holistic qualities. I'm sure you could research it on a certain free online encyclopaedia..

 
At 8:03 AM, Anonymous Nick MB said...

re: option (a) above; I deny all knowledge. And was drunk enough to be able to make that claim with 100% sincerity.

 
At 8:39 AM, Anonymous Urine Sponge said...

that's fair enough mate, do you remember that (nudity) incident at pippa's house around 4 years ago (oh shit that's gone quick)?

 
At 9:16 AM, Anonymous Nick MB said...

Um, I remember the aftermath but not how it happened. But mostly I try not to think about it too much.

 

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